I try not to place my sexuality at the forefront of my personality, but I feel forced to make a post addressing some of the more common and more outlandish ideas about what being Bisexual actually means; because if there's one thing I hate more than a bigot, it's an incompetent one.
1 - Erm... Do you like me?
An almost exclusively male reaction to finding out I'm Bi is the assumption that I must be attracted to them. It's quite an admirable self-confidence that these people display, as if everyone interested in the male sex must be interested in them. The question itself is usually posed in a scared tone, as if I were some kind of sexual predator, or an excited one, as if the answer they're looking for is "Oh yes, I'd very much like to mount you right now."
Of course, the answer is probably no. I don't like all guys in the same way I - or indeed the person asking - doesn't like all girls. It's about as simple as that. Being Bisexual does not mean I don't have a type or any kind of standards.
I have felt attraction to one or two of the people who have asked me this, and naturally I said no to preserve the peace in their insane minds, but that's neither here nor there to be honest.
2 - So you're going for a girl this time?
Possibly the strangest question I've been asked about my sexuality is that I alternate between going out with guys and girls. If I'm honest, I don't have a clue where this is coming from. My only guess would be that it comes from an expectation that Bisexuals are 'confused' and simply cannot decide which sex they like more.
Bisexuality accounts for a wide variety of sexual preferences; some are more attracted to guys than girls (as I am), others are more attracted to girls, others like both equally; but never have I met anyone who goes out of their way to bounce between genders on a systematic basis.
3 - Who's the woman in your relationship?
The answer to this one is really quite simple: Neither of us. One of us being 'the woman' kinda defeats the object of being in a gay relationship. If I'm not being facetious, this question would better be worded as:
"Who's the feminine (read: sensitive) one?"
That's a little sexist, and it's not a discussion I want to get into, so I'll keep this one simple: Neither of us. Gosh, I feel like I'm repeating myself a little!
I'm 15. So no.
5 - Will you take it up the ass?
Now this is ridiculous. I don't know. This one's more a generalisation of questions directed at my supposed sexual activity. I don't like answering questions like this because they're rather disturbing, probing and there seems to be no way out of them without looking like a pervert once a discussion begins. I'm sure this is surprising no one, but I'm not what you'd call sexually, or even romantically, active; and how I'll be having sex isn't a thought that's constantly on my mind. For the record though, I don't intend to have oral sex now, or ever.
6 - When did you decide to become bisexual?
The same time you decided you were straight. Sexuality is not something I believe is a choice. If it was, it would beg the question why so many people would choose to be a part of a group which as historically looked down upon as abominations by institutions like religion and society as a whole.
If the question you meant to ask was something along the lines of when did I start to realise... Not long before my 14th birthday, so nearly two years ago now.
7 - Are you sure?
The only question I genuinely despise answering on the list, to the point I've come close to outright refusing to answer it in the past. It generally comes in three flavours:
|Yeah, I'm trendy, bitches.|
7a - The Trends
Are you sure you're not just trying to be hip? Doing it because the other kids are doing it? I'm the first to admit that Bisexuality has become something of a fad - pioneered by the likes of Jessie J and Lady Gaga - and I think that's a massive shame and slightly demeaning to those who actually are inclined towards both sexes. However, as we all know, I'm hardly the kind of person who goes out of their way to follow trends. Just look at some of the shamelessly geeky posts on here.
7b - You're too young.
I can legally have sex in two months. I think I'm perfectly capable of deciding that I'm bi in the same way you are (or were) capable of deciding you were straight. I know who I'm attracted to.
7c - Maybe you're just fully gay.
This does have a degree of sense to it. Quite a lot of people have gone through phases of Bisexuality before settling on one gender or the other. In this case, Bisexuality is seen as a sort of "coming to terms with it all" phase. I went though it myself a while ago when I considered that I may have just been gay, so I didn't mind this question then. However, when I'm still being asked this after being out for two years, it gets repetitive and rather infuriating to have your sexual preferences constantly seen as a period of confusion or indecisiveness.
Well... This was fun.